Know what you are talking about... please (or at least don't make it sound almighty)

Wow. This was truly great. I love when someone can throw it back just as well, if not better, said. I am not Jewish, so I have not read these books talked about here, but still funny. This was taken from the Humanists of Utah website.

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Ennie, Meenie, Minnie, Moe...

Yes, that's right, folks...

I have a job, as I am sure you have heard. I was hired at Michael's Arts and Crafts in Apple Valley, on Monday. I start work there this Sunday, 7 am till 3:30 pm. It's a Supervisor position, so I will be able to move up to management rather quickly with all my previous experience. It's not as much in the way of wage as I would have liked, $10.25 less than 90 days, $10.50 thereafter, but it is more then I am currently making sitting at home.

Also.... Today I had another interview with a company called ACS, in Eden Prairie, they are outsourced to places like Expedia, Orbits, Sprint, and NWA Online. The position was for the NWA client. They handle all the inbound calls regarding reservations, ticket orders and general problems with the website. After filling out essentially the new hire paper work I was interviewed, the whole thing took an hour and a half. Needless to say, I was offered the position. The wage structure here is a commission based one. I will make a base of $10.50 during training and up to 6 months after, during which I am able to increase my earnings based on the number of calls I make and emails I send. After the 6 months, the base goes away and its solely commission. $1.25 per call, emails are less, to start. Call quality will also incerase this amount on increments of 25%.

Training for the next class was to begin on March 26th, and I am starting at Michael's on the 18th. So, a bit of a dilemma here. There is another class after this one, on April 16th. So I asked to be put into that one instead. That should give me time to pull together some income and see if I like the job, and decide if I will continue to keep the arrangement with ACS or with Michael's.

The other aspect of my dilemma are the hours... Michael's is, for the majority, 7 am - 3:30 pm, Sunday - Friday, with Wednesdays and Saturdays off (Thurs till 4:30 and Fridays, 1 - close). While ACS Training is from 2 pm - 10:30 pm, Monday - Friday, for four weeks, and a 2nd shift of 3 - Midnight, Tuesday - Saturday. While both actual schedules are cohesive to my life at this point, I was wondering, "Would I be able to work them both?" Of course that would require some explaining to Michael's as to the need for shortened hours with longer work-weeks, say 1 pm, not 3:30, possibly working 6 days instead of 5.
I am really not sure. I have way too much going on to think rationally at this point. I was panicked about not having a job, or car, and no longer a place of my own, and now... I seem to be in an over abundance of employment. I thought that it could not get worse, but when faced with the changes of "Ok, I'll take any job" to "Oh, now I have choices?" it's a little bit taxing.
If you have any thoughts... please do share!!!
★

So that's what's going on here....

Your Daily Affirmation:

Feeling blue or insecure? Losing sight of what's important? Still searching for the real "you"? In this self-help age of soul-searching, daily affirmations have been known to do the trick. But you probably shouldn't try these ...

• I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
• I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
• I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
• In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
• Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
• My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
• I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
• I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
• Joan of Arc heard voices too.
• I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self- righteous people around me.
• I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
• When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
• All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.
• I am at one with my duality.
• Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
• I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
• Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
• A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
• I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
• Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step -- blaming my parents.
• I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

Lots of Liners

Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist!
He who hesitates is last.
A man's house is his hassle.
Chaste makes waste.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
Neutrinos have bad breadth.
In case of injury notify your superior immediately - He'll kiss it and make it better!
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.

Charlie was a chemist
But Charlie is no more
What Charlie thought was H20
was really H2S04.

Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Friction is a drag.
Heisenberg may have slept here.
What fools these morals be!
Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 when he could-a had a V-8.
Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
Biology grows on you.
Blame Saint Andreas - its all his fault.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Go climb a gravity well.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to tell such LIES!
Every interesting program has at least one variable, one branch, and one loop…And at least one bug!
That does not compute.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
Somebody's terminal is dropping bits. I found a pile of them over in the corner.
If it works, Don't fix it.
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Gravity brings me down.
When you're up to your hips in alligators, You forget the original project was to drain the swamp.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door.
He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even down is up!
He keeps differentiating.... flying off on a tangent.
May all your PUSHes be POPed.
COLE's LAW - Thinly sliced cabbage.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl.
Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
It is hard to fly with the eagles when you work with the turkeys.
Nuke the Whales.
Basic is a high level languish.
Prunes give you a run for your money.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Eat prune yogurt for that "get up and go" feeling.
More people have died in nuclear power plants than in Teddy Kennedy's car.
Teachers have class.

Found on a door in the MSU music building:
This door is baroquen, please wiggle Handel.
(If I wiggle Handel, will it wiggle Bach?)

The solution of this problem is trivial and is left as an exercise for the reader.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
Biology professors never die, they just fail to react.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
Next time, give "the gift that keeps on giving": a female kitten.
Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
Midas was into golden showers.
Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
Neutrinos are into physicists.
Our houseplants have a good sense of humus.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Black holes are out of sight.

Neuroses are red,
Melancholia's blue.
I'm schizophrenic,
What are you?

Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.

Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Weekend, where are you?
Grass is nature's way of saying "High!"
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
Individualists unite!
Money is the root of all wealth.
Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
Remember, the fact that you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you!
Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.)
Keep America Beautiful.... emigrate.
I'm all for computer dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister.
If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture.
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
The expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity - the rest is overhead for the operating system.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators.
Are movies about Vulcans Pathe-logical?
Recursive, adj.: see Recursive.
An expert is someone from out of town.
If you see an onion ring - answer it!
Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!
Don't read this cookie!
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
Old frogs never die, but they do croak!
COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
Every time I lose weight, It finds me again!
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive insane.
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omni benevolent - it says so right here on the label.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Clones are people two.
Microwaves frizz your heir.
Neil Armstrong tripped.
God did not create the world in seven days. He partied for six and then pulled an all-nighter.
When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.
To make tax forms true they should read "Income Owed Us" and "Incommode You".
Heard on Noahs' ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite uncanny.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
Polymer physicists are into chains.
Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.
Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddy-wookie.
On all lasergrams: Don't forget the Zap code.
Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
There's no future in time travel.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
Take an astronaut to launch.
Reality does not exist - yet.
Sentient plasmodia are a gas.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
Small programs are for small minds.
All programmers want arrays!
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
Astronauts get missile-toe.
If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down.
Raise ducks for quack profit.
Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Interchangeable parts won't.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?
The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs.
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs.
The concept seems to be clear by now. It has been defined several times by example of what it is not.
Don't sweat it - it's only ones and zeros.
If this is timesharing, give me my share right now.
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Practiss makes perfict.
He who hesitates is constipated.
The best things in life are for a fee.

Topologists are just plane folks.
Pilots are just plane folks.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Midwest farmers are just plain folks.
Musicians are just playin' folks.
Whodunit readers are just Spillaine folks.
Some Londoners are just P. Lane folks.

You can fool some of the people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time,
but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.

Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Astronauts are out to launch.
Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
Gardeners are prone to sod-den decisions!
Be alert, America needs more lerts.
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
There is no such thing as a "Fail Safe" design.
No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing.
All I ask for is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
Archaeologists take sedimental journeys.
Remember, the paper is always strongest at the perforations.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to.
Smile! Things can only get worse.
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance.
Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
Get a higher education: Attend a two story school.
A physicists journal is scientific notation.
Politics: From the Latin root Poly (Meaning many) plus ticks (blood-sucking parasites) - Many blood-sucking parasites.
Pobody's Nerfect.
Dyslexics contemplate dog.
A small goodbye is a micro-wave.

Thoughts...

I read this and it made me very sad. Often I find myself in a situation such as this, and all for not, it turns out much the same. This is written by my very good friend "Dale" W. What a gift he has to write these musings. To understand the whole person, to be selfless, to want a better thing for someone else then what you have to offer, is the true deffinition of love.

MATT

I’m your friend
And I was wondering
And I was thinking

Why are you alone?
Is it because people think
You are less than perfect?
Is it because people think
You are the wrong
Height, weight, build?
That you are unattractive?

I’m your friend
And I was wondering
And I was thinking

Why don’t people see you
Like I do?
I know you
I see you

Kind, intelligent, loyal,
Handsome
Strong arms and gentle hands
Proud face and delicate heart
You act distant to the world
But I see you
I know you

You Care.
So many pieces to you
I know you
I see you

I’m your friend
I’m just your friend
And I’m sorry
It was an accident
I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to love you.

Remember?

I don't remember the dream anymore.
I don't sleep anymore.
I don't know anymore.
I don't remember who I am.
I won't remember who I am.
Copyright © 2007 Ben Owens

Hear Me

it hurts, a lot, my heart.

it cries more then it beats.

i put on this face of stone,

i show the world that i am strong,

but inside i am constantly crushed by the silence.

i don't hear the calls of my heart.

Copyright © 2007 Ben Owens

Emotional Rollercoaster

I'M HOME!
Well, ok, not really home, more at my second home. I will not be home home till tomorrow, or Tuesday(my birthday!). This weekend was very emotional for me. I am not sure how I would have made it through with out having my family there. And they were all going through the same thing. It's very difficult when someone in your family passes away, so I am told. I have not had to experiance a death, but only 3 times, that I can remember in my adult life. There was my grandmother's niece, who was more of an aunt to my mother and her siblings, and like a second grandmother to me, Emmy. But she passed when I was younger, I didn't go to her funeral. My grandmother passed away 3 years ago, then was a woman who was a close friend to my grandmother and again, like an aunt to my aunts and uncles. And lastly, my grandfather. It does not get easier with each passing event. I think this last weekend was especially rought for everyone, because noone was prepared for it to happen so soon. With the others before, they had been ill and we knew when it would be time. I mean, we knew that the time would come, but this was all too sudden, Many of my family, and extended family are still quite in shock.
The services were held at the same location as my grandmother's. and his ashes will be burried with her ashes in May. Now, Grandpa was not a religous man, but he was spiritual, and he would have enjoyed the service. I gave a reading from the Book of John 14:1-4

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."
"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
"You know the way to the place where I am going."

After the readings my aunt Cathy gave his eulogy. It was very nice. Of course, it made everyone cry. Then after everything was said, we watched a video montage. My aunt Darcie and uncle Kevin are great at putting those together. We all gathered in the back of the church and passed hugs, hand in hand with a tissue. I think everyone hugged everyone at least once, and thats a lot of hugs. I have a HUGE family. It was nice.There was a reception held by the VFW in town. Since my grandfather is a Life Member we got to use their hall. They served sanwiches and chips and potatoe salad, cookies and punch. Luncheon style. After a few hours of visiting I joined the majority of my adult cousins in the bar portion. I told myself this weekend I was not going to drink, for 2 reasons, a) I know that it's not good to participate and propogate depression through alcoholic comsumption, and b) I was there with my ENTIRE family, which includes recovering AA members and not to mention my mother. Needless to say, I was exhausted, I could not argue with the comfey bar stool, and I orderd a drink. All my cousins looked at me like I was nuts, like I had just fallen off my rocker. They're like, "Since when do you drink?!" To which I say, "When was the last time we were in a bar together?" The answer, never. We don't ever get together enough to have these "quality family" moments of drunkenness. And see, the thing that we are realizing and the reason we ARE in the bar, drinking, is because we know that it is going to soon be becoming a regular event. I know that's kind of morbid, but it's true. A lot of our family is getting up in age and we are going to be at these things more and more. Also amongst the topics of conversation are that us cousins(of legal drinking age, of course), should be getting together more often(drinks or no), seeing one another and just plain 'ol keeping in touch.
Later, around 6, we took the younger kids swimming at the hotel. It was a lot of fun. They have a kiddie pool for little ones, and a regular pool with a basketball hoop at one end, and a water slide, and of course a hot tub. The kids were all having a blast but the rest of us who were not swimming could hardly breathe because the air was so heavy and filled with chlorine. I couldn't sit any longer and watch literally 70 or so children under the age of 11 running everywhere. Not all of them were part of my family, only 6 were ours. The others were just guests at the hotel or there for one of two birthday parties. So when my cousin Molly called and said they were coming over to pick me up and we were going out to have a drink, I was all on that, lol.
Now, Watertown is a fairly ok size town, 25,000 pop. Also I should mention, on every corner and even in the middle of a block in this town is a casino, and with every casino is usually a bar. Molly and I convinced my other cousin, Tyler, her not anymore-step brother and his girlfriend Amanda to come along also. We decided to head to a bar close to our hotel back down the interstate. It was an ok place, could have been better if they knew how to mix a drink properly. We played darts, and tried to order shots of Rupplemintz, no luck. Goldschlager, nope. Yag? Well sure! Who doesn't have Yag on hand... but see, we ordered Yag-bombs, Yag and Red Bull, what we got was straight Yag. So of course I am expecting a little fizz, and when I got no fizz I spilled down my shirt. Not a lot, but enough to make me look like an idiot. We had enough of that place, and decided that we were going back to the VFW. They had good drinks, and we knew where it was.
It was so much fun just to sit and have a conversation with my cousins. We talked about what was happening in our lives, what was going on in the world, with our family. We shared memories that made us cry, and ones that made us laugh. I need more of that in my life. We made plans to hang out more, and not let the time slide on by. Granted, we don't live anywhere near one another, but, that's what road trips are for!
After bar close we all wanted to do some more remembering, so we drove out to the Lake House, Grandma and Grandpa's old house that all of us grangkids remember. The parents will all tell you they never grew up in that house, that their's was the house on 2nd St. They may not have had a childhood there, but we all grew up for that house, it was Grandma and Grandpa's retreat, we all grew with that house. Tyler, Molly and I sat remembering a lot of times in that house, holidays and visits, vacations in the summer, and breaks in the winter. More hugs. We wanted to get out and go walk around, but I said I didn't think it would be a good idea. Some were still a little tippsy, and it was only -8 degrees. Not to mention it was around 2 am and the property was not in the family anymore. Enough emotion was had by all this weekend, time to go to sleep. I drove back to the hotel and because it was really late and I didnt have my room key I crashed in thier room, only to be up and ready to leave for home by 8:00 am. Definately going to need to get stuff together so we can all hang out more.

If ever there is something to think about... its this, the heart does 3 things...The bad times are usually remembered, the good times are mostly kept. But a Love shared will always grow, which it will never forget.

Loved Ones... Eulogy for Donald Richard Vanderzee

Why can't today be like any other day, like any other Tuesday? Just an idle Tuesday in January? Today is not like any other day, today my greandfather passed away. He was a great man, a brilliant man, with lots of ideas. Love for his family above all else. He was 82 years old. With much of a struggle thrrough his life he lead it the best he knew how and always came up with an answer that worked. This is an amazing thing because he leaves 9 children, their spouses, 26 grandchildren, their spouses, and 11 great grandchildren who adored him very much. A WWII fighter and overall businessman, he has faced many srtife through-out his long life, including the passing of his wife, my grandmother three years ago, January 6th, Donna Jean Vanderzee, to alzheimers. He was fairly healthy and very sharp for having to endure all that he has had happen.

I miss my grandparents, I love them very much. It only brings happiness to my family to know that they are together now, in heaven.

Peace be to your families, God bless!

~Ben

We all need an Emotional Detachment switch.

Today could have gone much better then it did....

To start out, my computer crashed on me, AGAIN! Now, I have built my system from the ground up, so I know every problem that could happen, would happen. At least I also know how to fix said problems. So that was the better part of my Thursday night and morning today. Good news, it's all fixed and better then it was!

I talked to my friend Tommy, and we had a really good conversation. We have decided that we are the only people out there that understand what it is to be in the situation that we are in, everyone else is just "regular". If you don't understand that, well, that's because you don't think like we do. We enjoy the support, the friends, the family, and the help, not so much because we need them, but because we are people people. When you just know the way someone sounds and how it reflects their mood, or when you know that a certain vibe is coming in with out a word being said. It works when you have a connection with someone, any connection, anyone. To everyone else it's just plain confusion. You're all just "regular".After that, I played a little more DDR, got my car taken care of; it's going to the junk yard; and texted some more friends.

I had decided a week or so ago that I was going to go see a movie tonight. In perticular, Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno). This is a film by Guillermo del Toro, the same director to do Hellboy and Blade II. It's a fantasy/thriller about a make-believe world. "What happens when make-believe believes it's real?" It looks soooo awesome! But alas my luck, noone wants to go see it, mind you is has been out in select cities, and just tonight was released in Minneapolis at the Uptown. It will probabally be one of the last films to be shown at this theatre, the new Condo project that will tear this place down is set for February. So a night at home is now what I have planned.

My mom came to pick me up so I could finish the arrangments on my car tomorrow, and we went grocery shopping. It was alright, nice to be out in the bright sun and warm weather. After an hour or so and now with the cart filled to the top, we headed for the check-out. She see's the new Self-Check-Out and decides that's where we are going, Lane 10. Let me just tell you, I tried to inform her that we should probabally let a "regular" cahsier do the ringing and we can do the bagging, especially with as much as was in the cart. But no, she was adament about going to the self serve lane. There are WAY too many groceries to fit into the three bag holders that are available. And when you go through the self serve lane, everything is weighed. So if you remove something from a bag, or an entire bag altogether, an alert goes off. That means that a manager has to come over to approve the removal by tapping in their security codes on the screen. I knew this from past experiences. Mom, either did not, or didnt care. That poor manager must have had to come enter her code at least 6 times. I felt so bad. Meanwhile my mother is standing there as this goes on, like, "What?! What did I do?" I keep trying to tell her that we have too many groceries and she has to touch "Skip Bagging" for each item while I put it in the new cart. Wow, what an adventure. My mom now officially hates grocery shopping.

Evening has come now. Some good conversations occured today, some not. After much discussion about relationships over the past few weeks with a few people, I have come to the decision that I should take a break. I need to collect myself and find a center that I am happy with. While, I do not want to lose friendships that have been made, I do not see how a foundation built on broken trust can be fruitful. That is not to say that it should stop. It can be fixed or mended, however, changes must take place. Openness is key. One day, the base of our friendship will be solid, filled in by many peices. Some from You, and some from me. I look forward to reaching that point.

So, after a good cry, I have regained perspective, and can move forward from there. If anyone would offer assistance, it surely would be welcome.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions; and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.The sand is everything else; the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal Take care of the golfballs first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Please share this with someone you care about.

What do I change?

So earlier today I was feeling great, I was all full of energy. Excited and giddy, feeling like I haven't felt in a really long time. I took a nap and when I woke up the sun was gone and it was late in the day. I turned on the tv because I had been staring at this screen for way too long earlier. The only things on tv are really depressing movies, and now I feel like crap. The bottom of my stomach has fallen out and I do not feel up to smiling. I'm not sure exactly why. Or maybe I do know why but I don't want to admit it. Whatever it is, it needs to change.

Bring-it!

Ok, so being out last night I was not anticipating having so much fun. I mean yeah, I knew I was going to have a good time, but not a great time. Thank you!(you know who you are :-)) After driving Downtown, we went to the club(best part of the night), but what I can tell you about...
Downtown is such an ideal place, I really, I mean really need to be around there more often. There is anything and everything you could ever want to do. All within walking distance, after a short car ride, if you don't live in the city.
For those who have not been Downtown, in Block E there is a place called Game Works, it is an arcade style bar. I say style, because there are 2 bars and a restaurant inside, not to mention 10 lanes of blacklite bowling.
I was out with a friend. (Yea!) We decided to go to Game Works. To my surprise we didn't really want to play any game, other than DDR! That's right, baby! Dance Dance Revolution!!! I have not played DDR in, oh, 3 years. And anyone who knows me, knows that I do not go to the club and dance like a maniac, I tend to hang on the bar, or DJ booth. And might I just say, we were not horrible, but we were not bad-asses either. It was sooooo fun, we just kept on reloading the game, and eventually had to get more card points to continue playing. Needless to say, we closed the place down. At midnight the game started to freeze, just a little glitch, but enough to make us mis-step. We realized when the game was over that we had been locked from playing again, it was closing time!! :-( I know right!
I got home today, and guess what I did? I pulled our my dance pad, and plugged in DDR Max for my PS2!!! I am gonna get good and go back and show up that infernal machine. Time to bring your game DDR!!! It's on like Donkey Kong!

Oh, and, anyone who would like to come over and teach me how to dance and/or show me their moves, you're welcome over, anytime!

Currently playing : Dance Dance Revolution DDR Max Release date: By 15 June, 2006

Really, not what I expected... thank you.

Last night was a good night, I learned a lot about myself in the process of learing about another. And if you know the lyrics to the song Currently Listening To on this page, then you will understand (Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment).
"Desperate for changing, starving for truth, Closer where I started, Chasing after you... Letting go of all I've held onto... Forgetting all I'm lacking, Completely incomplete... I'm running and not quite sure where to go, Just hanging by a moment here with you."

So I find no better comfort then in the arms of someone who I care about, and if I can not have that pleasure then the lyrics of a well worn song often find new meaning for me. This is something that I thought about driving home in the dark. Why do really good lyrics take on so many different meanings at different points in our lives?

"When your education X-Ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good"
- 3Door Down - When I'm Gone

A lot of negative things/events have happened for me in this holiday season. I am really trying to focus on the positive and move my life into the better as a whole. I will let you know as that happens.
Currently listening : Hanging by a Moment By Lifehouse Release date: By 05 June, 2001

Can anything else go wrong?

I have not bolgged in a really long time, so sorry.
So around a month ago I was fired again. I worked for Express Scripts, a PBM (pharmacutical benefits management company). They have a very strict policy on attendence, at least durring the first 6 weeks. You can be late once and absent once due to emergency. I had already reached that level and it was week 4. No surprise, huh? I was late for the third time, but only by 2 minutes. That was enough to warrant my termination. Not even 30 mins after arriving I was pulled into the office and told of my fate. I will be eligible for re-hire in 6 months. Now I have to leave the premises, I was not even allowed to return and say good bye to anyone. :-( I was escorted from the building via the security desk, where they took my badge and basically destroyed it right in front of me. I didnt think I could feel any worse, after seeing that, the bottom fell out of my stomach and I sank further into being depressed. So ended my time at ESI.

I've been looking for work since that day, and have not found much to go off of. About a week after leaving ESI my car decided to stop running, and I don't know why. I mean, come on, it was a 1993 Chevrolet Corsica. The shop wants $1200 to tear apart my engine just to find out why, and then however much it's going to cost to repair the damage. I told them to just keep the car, since I bought it for $1100. Add that to my list of things to do.

Let's just say that my Holiday season was not particularly the best.

The Simpsons! for REAL!

How great is this?! Wanna see "The Simpsons" as Humans?
The longrunning animated Fox series is about to show you.
The series will air a live-action opening sequence
Sunday, March 26th @ 7 p.m. CST!!!

Here is the live-action opening trailer...
http://www.youtube.com/v/49IDp76kjPw

And here it is side by side with the animated version...
http://www.youtube.com/v/t56pI7IIi-w

*******************************************************

This was awesome!

Wife 1.0

Last year, a friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it’s a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.
Some features I’d like to see in the Upcoming GirlFriend 4.0…
A “Don’t remind me again” buttonMinimize buttonShutdown featureAn install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don’t lose cache and other objects)
I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, but they tried using the same i/o port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it didn’t have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another problem with all versions of Girlfriend that I’ve used is that it is totally “object oriented” and only supported hardware with gold plated contacts.

***** BUG WARNING *****

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

The Game

So... here's what you do....

"Begin and End"
The point of the game is to say a word in a certain topic, and the next person is supposed to continue the play with the last letter of the beginning players word as the beginning of their new word.

Ex) Locations
Jane: anartica
Dick: argentina
Jane: afghnistan
Dick: new hampshire
Jane: ethiopia
Dick: abbington
Jane: new york
Dick: kentucky
Jane: yeman
Dick: north dakota
Jane: australia
Dick: arlington
Jane: new zealand
Dick: denmark
Jane: u already said that
Jane: i win
Dick: i did?

Now, go and post your own... How long can we make it go on?!
Just click "Comments", then reply to the last word!

Off Target

I was fired yesterday. I no longer work for Target Corp. I was told that I had a meeting with HR when I arrived at work Tuesday. Something about a recorded phone call from Friday. Well Target also records screen shots along with the phone call itself. I had been doing too much web surfing, and had found my way to a harmless site, Break.com, where I was looking at meaningless pictures, just stupid stuff, humor, unrealistic things. We've all received the emails and been to various sights of the same nature(ebaumsworld.com for instance), well, there was a video section on this site, so I was checking that out and the next one up was a Spring Break video. Lot's of girls, bikinis and thongs, and HIGHLY inappropiate for a workplace environment. Now, this was not my intention to find such a video. Also I was not paying any attention to what was written on the site, as there was listed; I was informed by HR; a full lungth description of the video. I was mearly looking for funny things to amuse my time while waiting for a phone call to be routed to me. At the instant one came in, this video was starting to play. I was just under my 90 days, I was at day 85. Sunday would have been 90. I was told there is NO tollerance for inappropiate material within 90 days of employment and that I am since being let go. I pleaded for a warning, or a write-up to go in my file, but no, this was the only action to be taken. Well, I have deffinately learned my lesson. But now the question is, "What do I want to do now?"

On the bright side....

Things have worked out between me and Ally, I think we're cool again. And things are starting to take off for my pursuit in radio, I've been spending a lot of time with my friend Dan and kicking back in the studio, learnin the biz. We'll see what happens!

Entry for September 2005 thru January 10, 2006

WOW, so I have been gone for a long time. I don't think that anyone really noticed anyway. Well, let's start out... At the end of September I cut the web and cable out of my life. Also, I was in the process of job searching. I am happy to say that I found a great new job! It was a long road getting here, but I made it. Because of the sale with RMA, I really wanted out now. I had been interviewed for my new job on October 5th, and afterward was pretty confident I was going to recieve the position. So, I drafted up my resigination, but I waited for the right time to turn it in. In other words, I need to know that I was locked in at my new job. It took almost a month for them to get back to me and let me know when training was going to begin and what my pay rate was. Anyhow, it gets better... I wanted to give my notice on October 21st. That would give me 2 weeks, and November 4th would then be my last day, however, I was not guaranteed my position untill October 24th at 10am! They said training started on November 7th. That means I had to go take the drug screen within 24 hours. I had a doctor appointment at 2pm on the 25th for my back, but that was beyond the 24 hour time, so I had to go after work on Monday. I got a call saying everything was good on Tuesday after work. So I gave notice on Wednesday October 26th at 8am. Around 2pm I was called into a meeting and was told I was being suspended, and that I was not allowed to take anything from my desk, but to call back tomorrow and find out what the investigation came up with. I called Thursday and was told not to return to work, I was terminated. I was very upset, but not just because of that, but because my supervisor lied straight to my face when I went back to get my belongings. She removed things from my personal folder and proceded to tell me there was nothing inside of it. Now, ask yourself this... why would I have a 3-ring binder at my desk with nothing inside? And to top it off, she took my artwork from the see-thru cover stating again there was nothing there! Artwork that was irreplaceable! I was so happy to be done with that place, and to have a 2 week vacation!
So, I am guessing that you all want to know where I work now? Well, it is still in collection, but a much better company. I now work with Target Financial Services. That's right, the big bullseye! A multi-million dollar company! No more uncompensated employment, no more petty disputes with those stupid co-workers! More authority, and more money! It's great! With all of this going on and getting situated into my job, I haven't had much time or money to get online to update anything. But that is turning around and I should be back online soon. Some other things happening...
My friend Dan from Erie moved back home to the Cities. My other friend Ally now hates me because I blew up at some messages left on my phone at 2am by a friend of her's who hates me. Guess she wasn't that good of a friend. And Dan is upset with me because of all this as well. And to make that situation worse, him and I had it out over some holiday beliefs. Now we are barely talking or hanging out. My Ex-girlfriend Kara is talking to me again, even after our huge blowup. She really wants to be friends, but I seriously don't think I am ready for that, or that she is either. She constantly avoids seeing me when she comes home from Germany, and when we talk I always bring up "US", and that shuts her down totally. This guy she is with, she says she is going to marry in February, but noone thinks they should. I know she just needs to be home to see that we are right. We'll see what happens.

So, as you can see, I have had an eventfull couple of months, hope it all goes back to normal. SOON