We all need an Emotional Detachment switch.

Today could have gone much better then it did....

To start out, my computer crashed on me, AGAIN! Now, I have built my system from the ground up, so I know every problem that could happen, would happen. At least I also know how to fix said problems. So that was the better part of my Thursday night and morning today. Good news, it's all fixed and better then it was!

I talked to my friend Tommy, and we had a really good conversation. We have decided that we are the only people out there that understand what it is to be in the situation that we are in, everyone else is just "regular". If you don't understand that, well, that's because you don't think like we do. We enjoy the support, the friends, the family, and the help, not so much because we need them, but because we are people people. When you just know the way someone sounds and how it reflects their mood, or when you know that a certain vibe is coming in with out a word being said. It works when you have a connection with someone, any connection, anyone. To everyone else it's just plain confusion. You're all just "regular".After that, I played a little more DDR, got my car taken care of; it's going to the junk yard; and texted some more friends.

I had decided a week or so ago that I was going to go see a movie tonight. In perticular, Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno). This is a film by Guillermo del Toro, the same director to do Hellboy and Blade II. It's a fantasy/thriller about a make-believe world. "What happens when make-believe believes it's real?" It looks soooo awesome! But alas my luck, noone wants to go see it, mind you is has been out in select cities, and just tonight was released in Minneapolis at the Uptown. It will probabally be one of the last films to be shown at this theatre, the new Condo project that will tear this place down is set for February. So a night at home is now what I have planned.

My mom came to pick me up so I could finish the arrangments on my car tomorrow, and we went grocery shopping. It was alright, nice to be out in the bright sun and warm weather. After an hour or so and now with the cart filled to the top, we headed for the check-out. She see's the new Self-Check-Out and decides that's where we are going, Lane 10. Let me just tell you, I tried to inform her that we should probabally let a "regular" cahsier do the ringing and we can do the bagging, especially with as much as was in the cart. But no, she was adament about going to the self serve lane. There are WAY too many groceries to fit into the three bag holders that are available. And when you go through the self serve lane, everything is weighed. So if you remove something from a bag, or an entire bag altogether, an alert goes off. That means that a manager has to come over to approve the removal by tapping in their security codes on the screen. I knew this from past experiences. Mom, either did not, or didnt care. That poor manager must have had to come enter her code at least 6 times. I felt so bad. Meanwhile my mother is standing there as this goes on, like, "What?! What did I do?" I keep trying to tell her that we have too many groceries and she has to touch "Skip Bagging" for each item while I put it in the new cart. Wow, what an adventure. My mom now officially hates grocery shopping.

Evening has come now. Some good conversations occured today, some not. After much discussion about relationships over the past few weeks with a few people, I have come to the decision that I should take a break. I need to collect myself and find a center that I am happy with. While, I do not want to lose friendships that have been made, I do not see how a foundation built on broken trust can be fruitful. That is not to say that it should stop. It can be fixed or mended, however, changes must take place. Openness is key. One day, the base of our friendship will be solid, filled in by many peices. Some from You, and some from me. I look forward to reaching that point.

So, after a good cry, I have regained perspective, and can move forward from there. If anyone would offer assistance, it surely would be welcome.